A good rule of thumb to follow in these situations is;
"ONLY USE THE AMOUNT OF FORCE NECCASARY TO GAIN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION."
This means once the threat is neutralized you stop using force. Why would you want to continue beyond this point? There really is no reason to hurt or harm someone when they are not a threat to you or your loved ones. If you do then you blur the line between the GOOD GUY (you) and the Bad Guy (them). Why would you stoop to the level of a bad guy? Think long term on the actions you take. Could you live with yourself if you beat someone who was not a threat to you? Could you live with yourself if you needlessly took a life? Hopefully, the answer is "no".
"What would you fight for?"
This is a very important question to ask yourself and be honest with yourself when you answer. You do not have to tell the answer to anyone beside yourself so be brutality honest with yourself. Would you fight for your own life? Sounds like an easy question but really how far are you willing to go? Would you punch someone in the face? Would you kick someone in the groin? Would you pound someone’s head into the cement beneath your feet? Would you drive a piece of metal into their body? Would you shoot them in the head at point blank range? This is not a question directed at how macho you are or meant as statement of bravado.
Would you fight for your family? Would you fight to defend your children? Would you fight to protect your parents? Would you fight to protect your extended family, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.? How far would you be willing to go to defend your family? Could you hit someone in the back of the head with a shovel if they were hurting that one family member you cannot stand? What if they were harming one of that family member’s children? Where do you draw the line with your family?
Your neighbors, would you fight to defend one of your neighbors? Would you assist them if they were attacked during a crisis? How far would you be willing to go to defend your neighbors? Would you run over someone attacking your neighbor with your car? Could you watch your neighbors being attacked and do nothing? Under what circumstances would you do nothing? When would you go to their aid?
The question just goes further out from there. Would you fight for your church group? Would you fight for the waitress at your favorite restaurant? Would you fight to defend your child's school? Would you fight to defend your city?
What would you fight for?
You can feel it when you hit someone, you can hear them when they scream out in pain and it is something you will remember. The use of force is not simply just something you do then go have a ham sandwich. Using force has lasting repercussions for everyone involved; be it physical, emotional or legal, everyone is affected.
Most of us are prewired to not hurt another person. Most of us are brought up to not harm others. Most of us have no desire to hurt or even slightly harm another person. Some people out there want to hurt others. They have no problem hurting you and some of them feel absolutely nothing when they do hurt another person. Then during a crisis people might do things they would not normally do. They might feel pressed into committing acts of violence they would never commit on an average day.
Understanding your personal limits on what you are willing to do is very important. Before you can even discuss using force you have to come to grips with what you would be willing to do. We can discuss the legal issues or how to apply force and that is all good BUT none of it matters if you do not realistically understand what using force in the real world means!
When faced with a situation you have to solve with force you should always try to use the less amount of force to gain control of the situation. This might mean just yelling for someone to stop. Maybe you just step between two people and make it obvious the situation could lead to violence if one or the other does not stop what they are doing. Maybe you threaten to call the police and the threat of what might happen is enough to stop the situation? We should always attempt to stop a situation by not even having to touch the other person! This ensures everyone goes home in one piece and without long term repercussions.
If a situation gets to the point where you have to physically touch another person be cautious of how you touch them, where you touch them and how hard you touch them. Maybe all you need to do is touch someone to gentle guide them away from the situation. You would not want to walk up to someone, punch them in the face and break their nose if you could simply guide them away by placing an open hand on their shoulder!
At the same time if you are in a situation where the other person is throwing punches at you or someone else, going up to them and gently placing a hand on their shoulder is probably not the right answer to the situation. Odds are they are just going to punch you in the head. You have to at the very less met the level of force the other person is using with equal force. At times it could be better to answer the force you are fighting with force a step up. A person pulls a knife, you pull out a broadsword! Ok a gun might be a better idea, just wanted to see if you were still paying attention!!!
Say you are confronted by a person who wants your emergency supplies. You tell them 'No' and attempt to close your front door. They stop the door from closing with their arm. You tell them to remove their hand and get off your property. They shove the door toward you, you of course shove back. They manage to shove the door open and now brandish a knife to threaten you. You yell for them to stay out and order your loved ones to retreat to the furthest room from the front door. This person enters your home threatening you with the knife and tells you they are going to hurt you if you do not surrender what meager supplies you have to keep your family alive. You draw your firearm out from under your shirt and order the person to leave your home. They lunge toward you, you step back and fire, hitting the person in the chest. They look at the wound, look at you, turn and run out of your home. From inside of your home you can see them run away from your home and fall on to the street outside.
You can see they are obviously hurt. You can clearly see their knife is lying just outside your door. You watch as a neighbor runs up to the injured person, lift them to their lap and begin to cry. You can see the person you shoot is limp in the neighbor’s arms. Putting your firearm away, you walk up to the two of them and visually check the assailant and neighbor to determine if they are a threat to you or your loved ones any more. The attacker is obviously not a threat to you as they are gasping for breath. The neighbor is a complete emotional wreak seeing their loved one shot. You might even at this point offer to render medical attention to the assailant? Why not, they are not a threat to you anymore? Remember think long term here.
Sure some of you out there might be saying you would never react to a situation in this manner. You would have started punching the other person as soon as they showed up at your door!!! Once they tried to force their way in you would have drawn your weapon and shot them dead in the doorway! Once you pulled the trigger you would have kept going until the magazine ran dry!
I call bullshit right now if those were your thoughts or answer to the situation! Most of us have never seen what happens to the human body when metal starts to pass through it. Most have never heard a weapon fired in a confined space. Most have never heard the sounds of someone dying. And if you think you are one of those macho, super tactical, spit fire and drink gasoline type of tough guys let me ask you; why did you empty your magazine into one guy? What if bad guy number 2, 3 and 4 were just outside the door? So again check that entire macho BS at the door and honestly think about this subject for a minute or two………………
Why would I help the person I just shot? Because you are a better person and sometimes people make mistakes! What if their family was starving and coming to your house was the act of a desperate person? Wouldn’t you do anything you could to feed your family? Do you have to help them? No, this was just an example of how the use of force scale is a sliding scale. At one end you are taking lives, at the other you are saving lives.
Can we post a listing of all the responses and ways to use force in an emergency situation? No there to many variables in any situation, the idea here is to get you thinking about things now, while life is safe and you have a clear head. Set your boundaries now and work through the ‘what if’s’ now while you are not under any pressure. Take the time to learn the law, ignorance of the law is not a defense in court and the laws are different in different areas. Again a good rule of thumb;
Use only that force necessary to gain control of the situation.
As Always,
Stay Safe
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